I can't lie about how I feel...

thoughts & feelings on publishing my second book

Next week I will publish my second book, Fireside Magic. Here is the twisty jig between my thoughts and feelings…

I think, “Are there others like me who seek magic in the ordinary? Who see cowled shapes in hillside snow, or ancient knights loitering over forgotten graves?”

I think, “Have I went too far? Or not far enough? Will I ever write these stories just right?”

I think, “Will folk see owls and hares differently after reading this? The way I see them, as uncanny emissaries from the mist that blows between worlds?”

I think, “What will this person think, and that person think? I hope I don’t offend anyone I care about with a book that’s both utterly false and completely true.”

I think, “Have I been respectful to the old ways? There’s a watchfulness stitched into December nights, a breath in the chilly wind, and my nape prickles.”

I think mostly at night, in the still emptiness of my bedroom. I lie awake and seek the moonlight hidden behind the thickest, winter clouds. My thoughts are brittle leaves, crumbling by the hundreds into the rush of the black river below. And the river, carries them away…

---

I feel…a sense of anticipation. The silent hush before 3am snowfall.

I feel…a glow that warms my belly like whisky. Now others will know the blackthorn’s spiny touch, the deliciously dark dance between fairy and witch, the spell of the hare.

I feel…a green, guiding hand tilting my chin up to the sky.

I feel like an adder, slipping out of an old skin and wriggling into a new one, a shapeshifter who leaves behind only her shadow.

I feel Winter approaching, a time of retreat and rest, but also the tug of new life stirring in the cold earth. Come Spring, everything will be ok.

---

How different thoughts and feelings can be. Though their guidance differs, I’m sure heart and head try to protect our best interests in their own way.

Which one will you listen to today?