Last week I shared a list of things that drain my vitality. It seemed to resonate with many of you. This week I’d like to share the lighter side - a list of all the nourishing, beautiful things that have put a spring in my step lately.
Moon dances. Lights off, shutters open - the radiance of the night pours in. Limbs stretch upon pearlescent sheets, spine curves to a luminous, slender crescent. These sunset rituals kindle tingles, an after-dark writhe to unholy melodies and moonlight. Celestial tides tug the waters of my veins. Skyclad I beckon earth, stars, eternity. There’s no darkness here, only a moonlit being dancing in the depths of night.
Pleasing myself. Sometimes it looks like reading romance, other times it’s a 14 gauge needle poked through my nose. Or a restorative midday nap, or canceling plans. It felt unsettling at first. Can I choose girl moss over girl boss? Will I be left behind if I slow down? How will people react? I’d lived in such a numbing trance that wakefulness came with resistance and shock. But there’s lasting pleasure in unhurried mornings, healing euphoria in embracing rejected past selves, and power in saying “no”.
Music. To enjoy music is to drink magic. I listen with my whole soul. Dressing, walking, cooking, showering. Life without music is death-like drudgery. I find that even the darkest, heaviest sounds lift my heart to the heavens.
Trusting myself. I think Walt Whitman said it best:
“Re-examine all you have been told at school or church or in any book, dismiss whatever insults your own soul.”
My instinct takes lithe leaps from branch to branch on feet that never slip. A voice deep inside vibrates with life. I will do my best to heed its true, silvery call over the false shine of manufactured opinions.
Spiritual practice. Vespertine utterances to an Old One. Dishes of doorstep milk on Hallow’s Eve. Candlelight in place of bonfires. Faith in the wheel that keeps turning. Peace palmed from the knowledge that I am not alone. Beauty is drunk from everyday enchantments like the winter river bright with ice, or May’s cool, green streams. The shrill whistle of gille-brìde pierces the night as I kneel by the bed, filling my heart with wonder. I find that the more I learn, the less I know. It is in these hollows, where the mysteries of life shimmer and gleam, that I’ll find delight and comfort till my breath turns cold.
Nurturing life offline. Roses planted in the garden. Morning drives in search of croissants. Eating said croissants in the shade of a cathedral. A tryst with the missing piece of my heart. Passing a winter’s eve by the pub fire, swapping stories in broken Gaelic and feeling so very fortunate. Family board games. Seeing my features in old photographs. Music playing into the night.
Feminine energy. Nan Shepherd, a favourite writer of mine, once noted how a river wells up from its rocky birthplace, then simply flows away. One season it’s a playful gurgle and the next a torrential surge. Rivers carry and rivers drown. Whether in full, wintry spate or gently floating by, their waters mesmerise. I’ve never felt more at ease, more magnetic, more vibrant than when I adopt the river’s flow.
Do we share any in common? I’d love to hear what experiences and things grant you vitality! Writing my list reminded me of a Gaelic proverb “Thig crìoch air an t-saoghal, ach mairidh gaol is ceòl” - this life will come to an end but love and music endure. It helps me pay attention to what’s truly important in life.
Kate xx
Wonderful writing as usual Kate. Your weekly Selkie Grove is something I look forward to first thing in the morning every week. Not sure how, why or what triggered it but it seemed like my whole life was one giant whirlpool drain. Spent most of my time stressed, angry and upset about something or another. About 2 years ago the garden of my life was stripped bare and I replanted most of it. The new growth bringing new vitality is new music, (which I discovered I really liked) trusting myself (saying no a lot more often), Spending more time on the sea (incredible energy boost. A few weeks ago while sailing, a California Grey Whale swam in front of my boat). And, most importantly for me was a realization and acceptance that the religious dogma I had been exposed to my whole life was not really what my heart believed and knew to be different. But, I did discover a whole new path which did align and resonate with what my heart knew to be true. Peace and calmness is now the new order of the day. Things are certainly looking up!!
Dancing in the moonlight sounds fantastic! I do a lot of howling at the moon (quietly, so as not to alarm the neighbours) but clearly not enough dancing! I really resonate with your idea of "the more I learn the less I know". For me defending and cultivating that childlike sense of wonder in nature and the universe is just an overwhelming source of inspiration and emotional fulfillment. Hearing the trees rustle mysteriously when you're out after dark, for example. For me, I don't vibe so much with the idea of classifying energies as masculine/feminine, because that binary feels bit bio essentialist, and I'm more of a *so called* "masculine" energy gal. As a last thing, when I'm feeling tired and demotivated especially, I always underestimate how much making the effort to start learning and exposing myself to new ideas, knowledge and people fills my cup... and then when I'm in the zone buzzing I'm like "Yes I need to do this all the time!!!!! How did I think it would be better to stay at home??!??!!?" Also, I love Nan Shepherd too. What a magical writer she is!